Habit Forming

I used to think that forming habits was something that I could just brute force my way through.  It was a strategy that worked for some time.  My most effective way of breaking a habit is quitting cold turkey.  The problem is that cold turkey doesn't hold up on its own.  Breaking a habit leaves a void in both time and emotion.  It's difficult to keep justifying to your mind the reasons why you quit doing something because after a while, you will miss the positive effects that weren't as obvious with all the negative effects present.

I used to smoke cigarettes.  I quit countless times.  I tried to quit even more than that.  Normally, I would smoke half a pack a day.  When I quit cold turkey, I would be very motivated to squash the habit for a month.  After a month, I was so focused on thinking about not smoking that I forgot why I quit.  The time I normally spent smoking was replaced with a time void of boredom.  There were many reasons why I quit, and they varied each time I took a break from it: expensive, stinky, inconvenient, impolite, unhealthy.  When I finally did quit for good, it was because I was sick and I intentionally focused all my hatred of the sickness on the smoking because I knew it made me equally miserable.  Constantly having to clear my throat was not my idea of pleasant living.  What made me stay quit was adapting my thinking at each stage of clarity.  Nicotine takes a week to fully leave your system.  I've heard that breaking or starting a habit takes 21 days.  I took note of these time frames when I quit the final time.  I used my initial motivation for the first week, then after that I started spending more time thinking about what I honestly wanted versus what I was doing.  I thought about the negative effects like the terrible smell.  I surrounded myself with pleasant smells to remind myself what I would not be able to smell if I smoked.  I focused on healthy living - what it's like to be healthy as opposed to just avoiding causes of bad health.  A person can be healthy by just not drinking and smoking and eating too much junk food, but someone who chooses to take action in the positive direction instead of staying neutral has more stake in staying healthy.  I eventually replaced the habit of smoking with the habit of being healthy.  I may not always be living as healthy as possible, but I am far more resistant to actions that would harm me.

Starting a habit is just as hard as quitting one.  Instead of leaving a void that would need to be filled, you give up time on something else that you used to do.  Walking my dog is one habit that I strive to keep going.  I normally watch TV all evening.  My favorite mode of entertainment is watching TV shows on DVD.  It's hard to stop watching when the stories are so compelling and available.  I realized that I was just making excuses for not walking on a daily basis.  Then I thought about what I would gain by walking my dog everyday as opposed to watching TV.  I gave it a week of just trying to walk him every evening.  Now he is more calm all the time and doesn't behave like a spaz as often.  I still get to watch the same amount of TV, but now I pace myself and find that I like it better that way.  Now even if I feel exhausted I go for a walk anyway because I know that I will feel better afterwards.  By keeping that expectation in mind, the habit becomes easier to keep as time goes on.

Habit forming is more about anticipation than getting a specific result.  If you put a stigma of exhaustion on the thought of performing the habit, you are only conditioning yourself to quitting.  There are more effects tied to a repeated action than just the ones you think about.  Doing something once has a different effect than doing something multiple times.  Unhealthy habits can take years to show the consequences, but small signs of danger can show up sooner than later if you pay attention.  One habit I'm trying to quit at work is eating all the free sweets they give away; donuts, cookies, and hot cocoa are freely available.  When I think about what all that sugar does in the long run - diabetes, heart disease, obesity - it makes it easier to resist.  It's hard to eat a doughnut when thinking about having to stick myself with a needle every day to test my blood sugar levels as a diabetic.  I don't have diabetes, and don't have a family history of it, but it's still possible for me to acquire the disorder.  Additionally, every time I say no to a doughnut, I am openly advocating that it's okay to say no (just say no to the dough!), and for someone more prone to diabetes, it may be all the encouragement they need to say no as well.

Knowing more about the effects of a habit can save you time in the long run by improving your resolve and cutting out your temptation to give up.